Your Self-Improvement Goals Might Be the Reason You Aren't Improving
(Try doing this instead!)
So, let’s talk about goals. You know, those shiny promises you make to yourself—like you’re starring in your own personal infomercial, selling yourself on the dream of a better you.
I love writing out my goals!
There's something satisfying about putting them down on paper or a digital notepad— like I’m locking in a secret pact with my future self.
Heck, sometimes I even tell someone about my grand plans, thinking, “Well, now I have to do it, right? They’ll check in on me, and I’ll be too embarrassed to admit I didn’t follow through.”
If you’re the kind of person who actually sticks to these commitments, hats off to you! You might not need to read the rest of this article, but hey, stick around anyway—you might find a new way to gloat about your goal-crushing abilities.
Now, for the rest of us mere mortals, here’s the harsh reality: we don’t always follow through.
I used to be amazing at keeping promises to myself in my teens and early 20s but times were simpler then.
Nowadays we are hit with so much information—it’s too much too fast and we feel like we have to do it all.
Most of us have become self help junkies—consuming copious amounts of information and making a scroll of goals that unrolls down 3 flights of stairs.
Here’s a case study.
You set an ambitious goal, like “I’m going to work out two hours every single day, stick to a lettuce-only diet, and completely quit social media.”
You’re pumped.
Day 1: Goes great—you’re the picture of discipline, sweating it out in the gym, munching on greens, and avoiding your phone like it’s a bomb about to go off.
Day 2: You push through the workout, choke down the lettuce (maybe with a sneaky slice of cheese), and before you know it, you’re 30 minutes deep into TikTok, watching someone make miniature pancakes.
By day 7: The whole plan is in the dumpster—and you’re sitting there wondering what the heck happened.
You secretly mope—an ice cream binge sounds like your only hope at satisfaction.
Let’s pause and consider something here.
What if your goals are actually the reason you’re tripping up?
What if, instead of helping, they’re overloading you like a Jenga tower that’s just one piece away from collapsing?
Here’s the problem with stacking up a bunch of lofty goals: the more you pile on, the less you actually do.
And the less you do, the more confidence you lose.
Disappointing yourself stings way more than disappointing others.
You start to project that “I’m not good enough” vibe, and guess what?
Other people pick up on it, even if they don’t know why.
Whatever you’re feeling, you’re likely to attract more of it.
Feeling defeated? Well, here comes more defeat, like a stray dog that’s decided to follow you home.
Let’s reference some ancient wisdom:
The 4th Hermetic Principle—“As within, so without”—basically says that your outer world is a reflection of your inner world.
If your headspace is a mess, don’t be surprised when your life starts looking like a disaster zone.
[if you’re interested in the rest of the Hermetic Principles check out this article here.]
So what’s the solution?
Scrap all your goals and give up?---it’s 5 o’clock somewhere. Definitely not!!
But here’s a thought: what if you flipped the whole process on its head?
Instead of starting with a daunting list of goals or desired habits —what if you began with a blank page?
Each day, as you go through life, you write down every little thing you actually did to move forward.
Put your checklists on hold and start documenting your daily levers—things that you’ve actually done to move yourself forward.
Write the list of things you actually did and then check them off.
Maybe you didn’t hit the gym for two hours, but you managed a 30-minute walk—write it down.
Maybe you read one page of that book instead of a whole chapter—write it down.
By the end of the day, you’ll have a list of real accomplishments, not just a pile of broken promises.
And here’s the magic: before bed, you read through that list, soaking in all the things you did get done.
What you feed your mind before bed percolates all night in your subconscious mind and has a huge impact on your next morning.
Feed your brain all your successes as a bedtime ritual.
It’s like the self-improvement version of eating a good meal before a big race.
Charles Haanel, the granddaddy of self-help, once said, “If you start something and don’t finish it, you’re forming the habit of failure. If you don’t intend to do it, don’t start; if you start, see it through even if the heavens fall.”
Wait, you don’t know who is Charles Haanel is?
Confession: neither did I until saw a random comment on a YouTube self help video (see, junkie in the house) mentioning the author and his book The Master Key System as a little known must read book.
I felt like I just stumbled upon a secret soup recipe uttered by a great grandma on her death bed.
I digress—back to the thesis.
Instead of beating yourself up with goals you didn’t hit, start celebrating what you did achieve.
In the end, it’s not about how much you planned to do—it’s about what you actually get done.
Even getting 1% better every day gets you 37 times better by the end of a year.
Tiny gains matter!
So put down the endless to-do list and pick up a “done” list instead.
Why not give it a shot for a week? Track your wins and watch your confidence grow.
You might just find that this simple switch is the key to unlocking a whole new level of progress in your life.