I got beat up last week.
By my ego.
That sneaky bastard crept up on me—I didn’t even see her coming.
One minute, I’m banging out articles, scheduling them, feeling in flow.
The next, I’m drowning in the need for external validation.
And when I don’t get it?
I start feeling worthless.
It was a rough 12 hours.
Before bed, I gave my subconscious a task: find a way out.
I do this often—set mental instructions before I sleep.
Problem was, I didn’t sleep well. So my subconscious never got the space to work without me getting in the way.
And by me, I mean my ego thoughts.
The next morning, I made the sound choice to walk in nature.
It was the perfect remedy for my open wounds.
And somewhere between the rustling trees and the quiet stillness, I understood something:
These ego-fueled thoughts—they’re not just passing ideas.
They’re energy pockets trying to stay alive.
Not metaphorically. Literally.
Emotional thoughts and experiences create energetic imprints around us.
And those imprints? They don’t just fade away. They want to grow. They want to survive.
So they return through your ego, feeding you insecurities and self-doubt.
And when you emotionally attach to those thoughts, you feed them.
They take your energy and expand (our greatest bank of energy is tied to our emotions).
This is why you spiral. Why a small insecurity morphs into something unbearable.
Because the more you engage with it, the bigger it gets.
And despite knowing this—despite years of metaphysical study—I still fell for it.
Because this is what’s it’s like being human.
We can know what’s best for us and still do the opposite.
It’s called stumbling. And there’s no shame in it.
But through that stumble, I realized how ridiculous I was being.
My self-worth isn’t based on external validation.
That’s the weakest place to put it.
Every single one of us is worthy as we are.
But in this game of life, we will have moments like these.
And when we do, we have to be our own best coaches—recognize the stumble, then course-correct.
So this week, my ego is taking a backseat.
She’s in timeout.
I’m not forcing her to disappear—there’s value in having an ego.
Our egos keep us grounded in this world. Without them, we might detach completely, lost in some extreme version of spirituality.
But we are here—in these human bodies—for a reason.
We are meant to experience this physical world.
The key is using the ego as a tool—not letting it run the show.
And here’s something important:
There are laws in the universe. And one of them is as within, so without.
What you feel inside will always be mirrored back to you.
If you don’t feel worthy, life will keep reflecting that back—through people, circumstances, patterns.
This is why seeking external validation is a trap.
A mental, spiritual, energy-draining trap.
So here’s your takeaway:
When your ego tries to drag you into a spiral, tell her to step aside.
Do not attach to those thoughts emotionally.
Your emotions are energy in motion—don’t give them away to things that don’t serve you.
Eventually, that pull will weaken.
It took me 12 hours of mental hell, but somewhere in there, my subconscious reminded me:
These energy pendulums, as Vadim Zeland describes them, exist.
And the only way they survive is through your emotional investment.
Don’t feed the beast.
Feed your soul.
So if you’re having a crappy day, do something to shift that energy.
Last week, I wrote about mindful walking—focus on every step and experience it as progress.
Be present. Be aware.
Give your energy to something else, and the ego won’t have room to creep in.
Take a walk in nature—there’s healing available for free.
Or just sit with your thoughts. Observe them.
Recognize the false beliefs behind them.
And remind yourself: they only grow if you feed them.
Talk yourself through it.
No shame. Just progress.
Keep moving.
All the best friend,
Sirah