How I Finally Stopped Failing My Resolutions
The 5-Step Framework That Works
Most people set big plans for the year ahead and fall short.
In 46 BCE, Julius Caesar declared January 1st the start of the year, naming it after Janus, the Roman god of beginnings and endings—one face looking back, the other forward. Romans made promises to Janus, laying the foundation for the New Year’s resolutions we know today.
The word resolution comes from 'resolve,' which means to decide firmly or find a solution. And guess what? That takes strategy, planning, follow-through, a little bit of chilling out.
If you thought 2024 went by fast, I hate to tell you but 2025 will go by even faster. Maybe it’s time dilation, or just the reality of getting older.
One thing’s for sure: it’s time to set goals you’ll actually stick to.
If you’re like me, you’ve had a few "recycled" resolutions that keep coming back every year because they never stick.
But I’ve found a 5-step framework that finally works.
Spoiler alert: You’ve gotta actually do the steps, not just read this and nod along. Cool?
Let’s do this. (nodding my head)
1. Get Clear on What You Want
Most people come into the new year talking about what they don’t want.
Start by defining your desires with clarity and positivity.
Focus on what you want to achieve (in detail) rather than what you want to avoid.
Use positive framing to set your goals.
Example: Instead of saying, "I don't want to feel financially insecure," say, "I want to create a stable income stream of $10,000 per month."
Last January, I made the specific goal of getting a specific manager's position with a very specific salary. I had been on a sabbatical for 3 years so I knew that getting back into the workforce could take some time.
But I declared it and followed the rest of the steps in this framework.
It wasn’t a straight and narrow path (it usually never is) but I ultimately got the specific position and the salary I had set out for. All within a couple months.
Clarity is the catalyst for all change.
Whether it’s launching a podcast, meeting a life partner, or building a business—get specific.
You must clearly define the aim of your life. That is the beginning. Without a goal, you are simply drifting—Neville Goddard
2. Release Resistance
Housekeeping 101: If you want to sail this year release your boat anchors.
Boat anchors are anything—people, mindsets, or habits—that drag you away from your potential. While you push ahead, they pull you back.
Examples of boat anchors:
People who belittle your goals or bring negativity.
Self-sabotaging behaviors and bad habits.
Self-limiting beliefs and stories.
These have been blocking you from achieving things in previous years.
Your limiting beliefs might be your biggest resistance.
Take the time to deal with the inner dialogue that might surface as you move towards your goal:
Examples: “it’s never going to work out”, “ I am not good enough”, “ I don’t have enough time”
You also need to drop the insistence on how things will come into fruition and trust the process of the universe.
Drop the attachment to "how" things should happen and trust the process.
That job I mentioned in step 1, my application was auto-rejected after submittal.
I felt the initial gut check but then reminded myself to keep my energy stable and let the universe figure it out—through a synchronistic series of events, the opportunity came back to me.
Key is to stay focused on what you want, while remaining non-resistant and non-attached.
3. Co-Create with the Universe
Recognize that you’re not alone in this journey.
There is a higher power guiding us all and it does have our best interest in mind.
Sometimes the path we are on feels exhausting and without purpose but stay the course.
We can’t always see how it’s taking us to our destination, but it is.
Like Steve Jobs said:
“You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.”
Hold your desires firm in your mind and heart with positive feelings to allow synchronicities and opportunities to unfold naturally.
I held the vision of the position I wanted but released any ‘neediness’ or ‘lack’ around it. The energy of lack begets lack.
It was about a month after my application was rejected that a contact at that company reached out to me out of the blue. A month later I was offered the job.
When you hold a vision without resistance, the universe begins orchestrating opportunities to align with your desires.
4. Take Consistent Action
Action is essential, but it doesn’t need to be overwhelming. Take small, consistent steps toward your goals.
“Planning is essential, but plans are useless”—Dwight D. Eisenhower
The process of planning creates a starting point, a guiding North Star, but rarely is the plan we start with the plan that we look back on that produces the results.
Get on the court of life and move around.
Take simple consistent actions or just get out and enjoy life.
Sitting on your couch eating bonbons isn’t going to help you manifest your desires.
You need to interact with the world to allow synchronicities or inspired action.
Tiny gains add up.
James Clear made that very clear in his book Atomic Habits.
Clear stated the compounding effect that says that if you can get 1% better each day for one year, you'll end up 37 times better by the time you're done.
Dang, homie. Now that’s a stat I can get behind.
Eat your bonbons while you’re out for a walk. Or maybe swap it for celery.
Your choice.
Daily action plan is important.
5. Be Flexible and Embrace Setbacks
Be cool when things don’t go your way.
The plan rarely unfolds as we want it to.
Setbacks are guaranteed.
It’s the natural course of things, it’s like the universe is testing you and asking “are you sure you want this? you sure you’re going to stay committed to this?”.
Life often tests your resolve.
Stay committed and your visions will manifest.
Conclusion:
These five steps—clarity, releasing resistance, co-creating, consistent action, and flexibility—are your roadmap to a successful 2025. Commit to the process, and let the year ahead be your most transformative yet!
Cheers to a fabulous 2025!
Good job, Sirah! This really clarified my thinking on my 2025 goals.
Thanks for the steps!
Certainly the most important one for me is getting clear about my aims and desires -- otherwise we are aiming at something we aren't even aware of! Having the clarity of mind to focus in on one task, one goal, one visualization, makes all the difference.
"If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading." - Lao Zi